What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
