I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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