i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
