hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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