there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
