His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
