No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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