Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Randomize
