Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You ate ashes out of my bong
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
