my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize