Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
