Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
