why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
