so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
