Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
