Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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