god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize