It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
