Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize