beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
