Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize