Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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