Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
