i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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