What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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