I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
