he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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