I want to stick my p in your. b.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
