Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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