just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
