Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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