ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
