I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
