I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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