How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
