She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
