I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
