Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
