If i come over, it means nothing
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
