Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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