When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
