I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
