they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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