Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
