I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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