we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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