are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
