Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize