please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
