How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
