I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
