Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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