I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
