My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
