PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize