I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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