I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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