worst night to have a conscience
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
