ADVERTISEMENT

• (816): View more from Missouri

  He's been sleeping iwht ***

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Nooo

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb

  (816): View more from Missouri

  And then hit her in the face with a shovel

  Fav 3 1500 2346

  share tweet
  

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin

  Fav 65 4160 730

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.

  Fav 56 6772 1568

  share tweet
  

• (785): View more from Kansas

  It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon

  Fav 33 1210 6636

  share tweet
  

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.

  Fav 13 3421 1544

  share tweet
  

• (605): View more from South Dakota

  and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.

  Fav 10 4182 1221

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006

  Fav 9 1261 2840

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house

  Fav 16 2180 2963

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"

  Fav 8 3367 1283

  share tweet
  

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.

  Fav 11 1668 873

  share tweet
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.

  Fav 9 1639 917

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling

  Fav 6 647 1098

  share tweet
  

• (848): View more from New Jersey

  How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?

  Fav 1 453 745

  share tweet
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.

  Fav 5 859 439

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?

  Fav 0 49 24

  share tweet
  

Randomize